


Love is Being Left on Read

by okaybi, soccermom_max



Series: pure crack or smth?? idk i dont listen to lorde [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mentions of Unhealthy Eating Habits, Peter Parker and Tony Stark are Siblings, Texting, based on ri's college experience, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27752236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okaybi/pseuds/okaybi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/soccermom_max/pseuds/soccermom_max
Summary: That awkward moment when your brother gets you arrested for smuggling peanut butter across national borders and then you fall in love with your best friend...? Maybe I missed a couple of steps.
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, additional background ships - Relationship
Series: pure crack or smth?? idk i dont listen to lorde [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030122
Comments: 16
Kudos: 58
Collections: Fics that I want to read once they are complete





	1. No Socks Required

**Author's Note:**

> no homo - rhodey  
> mr buzzkill - howie stark  
> mrs buzzkill - maria stark  
> boink - bucky  
> beckster - becca barnes  
> shrek - clint  
> fiona - natasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> regular updates starting after the new year

**pete**

**yesterday, 2:52pm**

**pete**

WHERES MY LAPTOP I KNOW U HAVE IT WHERE THE FUCK

**Tony**

I’m not even in the country what

**pete**

YOU TOOK MY LAPTOP TO I T A L Y ??????

**Tony**

why would I take ur laptop when I have my own. stupid. 

**pete**

BC U USED ALL UR STORAGE ON THE NEW SIMS MOD

**Tony**

it was Minecraft actually 

and I got a new one

**pete**

LIAR

nvm I found it under my bed

**Tony**

ok

**today, 6:57am**

**Tony**

why is there peanut butter in my bag 

**pete**

lol

**Tony**

u do know it’s illegal to smuggle food across national borders right

**pete**

lol

* * *

**mr buzzkill, mrs buzzkill, pete, Tony**

**today, 8:02am**

**mr buzzkill**

why is border control calling my hotline

**pete**

lol

**Tony**

lol

* * *

**the whores in this house**

**today, 12:43pm**

**boink**

Tony I can’t believe u got caught w peanut butter of all things 

**pete**

lol

**Tony**

I’m going 2 kill him

**pete**

lol u won’t

**steverooni**

oh no oh nonononono 

**Tony**

ur gonna WISH I’d taken ur fucking laptop

**steverooni**

now let’s just take a deep breath

**Tony**

this coming from the guy with asthma?

**pete**

lol

**no homo**

why are u in Italy

**Tony**

I’m w my gay lover

**no homo**

I’m in NY wtf 

**Tony**

no I’m actually visiting Peggy at the vacay house

**no homo**

we get it ur rich

**Uncle Sam**

flirt somewhere else babes 

**Tony**

u say as u flirt with us

**steverooni**

you should practice bruce's breathing exercises tony 

** brucie bear **

don't bring me into this

**Tony**

this again 

**pete**

how many times do I need to say this old man; ur the WEAK LINK

**steverooni**

this coming from sir peanut allergy

**pete**

ITS ON SIGHT NFDMNFKFN WATCH UR CANE OLD MAN

* * *

** no homo **

** today, 11:00am **

**no homo**

lunch was peanut butter cracker & sip of water 

**Tony**

go eat platypus

**no homo**

sleep is food  😀👍

* * *

** Beckster **

** today, 11:34 **

**Tony**

hey it’s Anthony stark 

**Beckster**

hey rich boy

**Tony**

u got any dirt on in Steve

**Beckster**

one time Steve ate an entire rotisserie chicken in his car

**Tony**

this is perfect thank u

**Beckster**

that’ll be $5 

**Tony**

I have a rotisserie chicken take it or leave it

**Beckster**

I’m in

got ranch w it?

**Tony**

wtf no

* * *

** the whores in this house **

** today, 6:00pm **

**Tony**

I just think it’s funny how Steve is making fun of a peanut allergy when Ik he’s eaten an entire rotisserie chicken in his car and that’s 10x more embarrassing 

also who tf eats ranch w their chicken wtf Barnes

**boink**

u don’t know my life

**steverooni**

ok listen 

**Tony**

this better be good

**steverooni**

I was HUNGRY

**boink**

Ik ur a Gemini and it’s engrained in u to act like one but u need to learn how to channel ur Taurus moon

**Shuri**

ur a Pisces stfu

**boink**

STOP UR SUPPOSED TO NE OJ MY SODE

**Shuri**

im on the side of chaos

** boink **

such a virgo smh

* * *

**pete**

**today, 6:12pm**

**pete**

this cute boy in my span course just asked me to tutor him so naturally i called him a gringo 

AND HE SAID 

"idk what that means but i'm guessing you called me pretty so thank you" 

KFDAFKSf

**Tony**

well?

**pete**

well what

**Tony**

is he pretty

_read 6:15pm_

* * *

**harley**

**today, 6:20pm**

**harley**

u didn't tell me ur brother was hot

**Tony**

im blocking this number

**harley**

no wait i come with a macaron recipe

**Tony**

better type fast then

i want the recipe up front

**harley**

[image] 

done

does he like thrifting

**Tony**

idk but he called u cute

_read 6:58pm_


	2. Social Distancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we back -max (soccermom_max)

**whores in this house**

**yetserday, 1:56pm**

**pete**

hey guys who was gonna tell me Howard was homophobic 

**Uncle Sam**

Howard, apparently 

**Tony**

so is there a subscription thing I missed out on for dad to love me? 

**pete**

apparently it costs extra if ur gay sorry

**Tony**

I’m not gay tho

**pete**

damn ur still in the closet? 

**Tony**

damn ur still talking?

**pete**

stop bullying me this is homophobic  🖐

**Tony**

stop looking so funny and I’ll stop bullying you

**pete**

BDNFJNCC BITCH WE LOOK THE SAME

**Tony**

u have glasses that u never wear so how would u know

** pete added harley**

**pete**

harley tell everyone im prettier than tony 

**harley**

i mean yeah ? 

**Tony**

rhodey ?? 

**no homo**

tones i can’t bully your little brother that’s homophobic 

**boink**

it’s okay tony i think you’re the prettiest 

**Tony**

tHank you

**pete**

Steve how do we feel about this  🎤

**steverooni**

im Switzerland 

**yesterday, 10:54pm**

**boink**

party @ my basement 

**steverooni**

my basement**

**boink**

I pay rent dont I 

**Uncle Sam**

OUR basement**

** steverooni **

comrade uncle sam

**Tony**

I forget y’all are roomies 

**pete**

omg they were roomies

**steverooni**

I’m str8 

**harley**

y’all have basements? 

**boink**

wtf yes we have basements where else would we put the drugs

**Tony**

a hetero ??? in MY queer group chat ?? 

**pete**

we all know this is my gc 

**fiona**

it’s actually mine 

**Tony**

you’re never active tash so stfu 

**pete**

yeah tony’s about to d word have a good day everyone 

**boink**

its called having a billionaire friend and still living in a 2 bed basement apartment 

**pete**

there’s 3 of u ??

**boink**

it’s a 3 bed if we sacrifice the living/dining area

**shrek**

who sleeps in living area 

**Uncle Sam**

steve 

**boink**

steve 

**no homo**

why steve tho 

**Uncle Sam**

does he look like he deserves a real person room 

**boink**

he’s never here anyway he’s always doing those dnd raids w tony. nerd. 

**pete**

and I wasn’t invited 

**Tony**

no sorry cool kids only

**pete**

if I weren’t cool would I be able to twerk laying down

**harley**

can vouch he is v cool

** today, 3:56am **

**steverooni**

Bucky I think we should get married for tax purposes 

**boink**

u think I pay taxes?

** today, 7:45am **

**steverooni**

where’s Sam

**boink**

I thought he was with u

**Uncle Sam**

which subway do I take to get to the M&M store it’s important 

**pete**

idk dude just drive

**Uncle Sam**

if you’re not gonna be helpful then shut your fucking trap 

**Tony**

walk it’s only like 12 blocks 

**Uncle Sam**

2 blocks down on Times Square which is at least 10 normal blocks

**fiona**

god you’re such a tourist 

**Uncle Sam**

I just think it’s neat 

**no homo**

I love the M&M store I’ll go with u

**Tony**

wait now I wanna go

**shrek**

this is why we’re never active in this group chat 

**Tony**

are you implying there’s another one that i’m NOT a part of 

**shrek**

...no? 

**fiona**

see what you’ve done clint 

**steverooni**

where tf are u that it’s only 12 blocks 

**Uncle Sam**

reenacting night at the museum at the museum w Tony 

**pete**

who played the little cowboy and who played the little roman dude 

**harley**

yeah i wanna know bc those are mine and peter’s roles 

**Tony**

I rented it out. Can we get back to how you guys have a seperate gc 

**steverooni**

It’s nothing personal 

**Tony**

it feels personal

**boink**

wait wdym there’s another gc 

**fiona**

bucky you’re in the gc 

**boink**

no im not 

**steverooni**

yes you are you turned your notifs off for it

**Uncle Sam**

okay but IM not in the group chat 

**shrek**

yes that’s bc you can’t keep a secret 

**Uncle Sam**

neither can you ??? 

**steverooni**

that’s a good point you did just out the group, clint 

**boink**

if I wanted to get a notification every time someone tried to talk to me I’d just stop wearing AirPods 

**steverooni**

we live in an apartment that constantly smells like ham and he buys AirPods 

**boink**

would you rather me spend my money on bath & body works

**steverooni**

you already do that 

**boink**

I just really like their summer candles  😌🤌

**Uncle Sam**

winter scents are the best shut up

** today, 12:15pm **

**Tony**

every morning I buy fresh baked bread just to smell it

**boink**

god I wish that were me 

**boink**

Tony I’d like to offer my hand in marriage

**no homo**

I’ll offer both hands

**boink**

HAHHA ur funny sometimes

**Tony**

James I accept ur offer 

** boink**

🖐 wait a damn minute

** no homo**

🖐🖐 wait a damn minute

**super secret spies**

**today, 12:58pm**

**shrek**

is bucky actually into tony or is he doing this to push them together

**steverooni**

who knows with him honestly 

**fiona**

i’m just gonna watch how this one plays out could be interesting

**okoye**

agreed 

**boink**

Steve u were right I found the gc

**boink**

I guess we'll never know :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: i cant believe im telling you abt how im dying for the second time in 3 months snd ur just IGNORING-  
> ri: ur not dying u just have a fever u fucking idiot


	3. kiss the homies goodnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just remembered that it's friday lmao here's this -ri

** mj created a gc  **

** mj named the gc women in stem **

** yesterday 9:53pm  **

**fiona**

none of us are stem majors 

**shuri**

oh just forget about me why don’t you 

**mj**

stem

S- sophisticated 

T- team 

E- excluding

M- men 

**fiona**

okay we all fit that ig 

**carol**

damn right we do 

** harley **

** today 12:04am**

**pete**

do U think happy will drive me to Chick-fil-A or no

**harley**

when

**pete**

rn

**harley**

bc it’s kind of closed rn 

**pete**

right this second

**harley**

no I don’t think he will

**pete**

that won’t stop me

**harley**

pls don’t walk either don’t want u to hit the deer 

**pete**

I’m sorry if I walk into a deer I don’t think the deer would be the one we should worry abt

** the whores in this house **

**today 4:20am **

**boink**

hey yall I’m here w/ my best friend 

**boink**

best friend show them your moves

** Tony **

🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈

**boink**

oh yeah get it I guess

**boink**

alright best friend hold the camera

**Tony**

🎥

** boink  **

🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 oh yeah dougie hype me up

**today 7:31am**

**pete**

y’all were up at 4:20 am?

**boink**

engineering slumber party!

**Tony**

over zoom!

**steverooni**

tony’s your best friend ??

**boink**

well only one of you was awake when i needed you so yeah 

**Tony**

😏 Bucky I thought your leather jacket was super neat btw 

**boink**

I think ur brain is cool

**Tony**

are we abt to kiss rn

**no homo**

imsorrywhat 

**boink**

I mean u only yolo once

**Tony**

unless u yolo twice  😎

**steverooni**

so me ? im the only one of us who has come back from the dead 

**Tony**

you’re no fun 

**fiona**

Steve you did what 

**boink**

he met god 

**steverooni**

Steve Buscemi

**no homo**

god is not Steve buscemi 

**pete**

god is Steve buscemi?

**fiona**

lord give me patience 

**boink**

I thought u said god was Steve Urkel

**Uncle Sam**

I thought he said HE was god

**steverooni**

idkidk 

**steverooni**

gods name is Steve

**pete**

omg I love Minecraft 

**today, 11:45am**

**Tony**

petition to change this group to the Singles Club

**pete**

I’m not single

**Tony**

petition to kick peter out of singles club

**boink**

if all goes well I won’t be single much longer and neither will u 

**Tony**

I’m blushing. 

**no homo**

Tony do u want to hangout on Friday bc I’m free on Friday and ur free on Friday so maybe we can hangout on Friday this Friday 

**Tony**

dnd 

**no homo**

nvm

** super secret spies**

** today 11:52am**

**fiona**

how long do we think tony’s gonna keep being oblivious abt rhodes 

**shrek**

my money’s on forever 

**steverooni**

disagree, rhodes will eventually directly ask tony out and it’ll be fine from there 

**boink**

tony will 100% being doing the asking lmao 

**fiona**

gotta agree w barnes on this one, he just needs to get out of his head 

**okoye**

yeah and it might help if bucky stopped f l i r t i n g with him 

**boink**

im doing him a favor AND entertaining you all, so kindly stfu 

** the whores in this house **

** today 1:08pm**

**Tony**

sisterhood of the traveling sweater. who has it

**boink**

I do I got it from Steve

**pete**

there’s a sweater?

**Tony**

I let Rhodey borrow it 6 months ago and it’s making it’s way through the group 

** today 2:19pm**

**boink**

hey everyone! on today’s episode of boinky borks we have nat braiding my hair! take it away miss ice queen!

**fiona**

it’s a braid

**boink**

that’s so cool! thanks for going to in depth about your creative process, it really makes me want to get out there and do things! next up we have Sam being Sam! take it away buddy!

**Uncle Sam**

did u eat my bowl of m&ms

**boink**

I sure did, Sam!

**boink**

coming up we have Steve clogging the toilet again followed by Tony calling me because he can’t tell if Rhodey’s awkward attempts at flirting are actual romantic advances or not! 

**no homo**

WHAT

**boink**

that’s all for now folks!

** Tony **

u did not say that bye I’m deceased 

**steverooni**

hey pal it’s not too late to leave the gc

**pete**

tony getting outed for being a dumbass 

**shrek**

thought we already knew that

**pete**

okay tony ONCE AGAIN getting outed for being a dumbass 

**Tony**

it’s not my fault howard and maria never taught me how to understand emotions

**pete**

you just made me feel slightly bad for being mean to you. kindly never do that again.

** Tony **

anyway who wants to see my frog collection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *plays dicked down in dallas*  
> me: i could go get [REDACTED] in [REDACTED]
> 
> max: i’m so tired of your shit


	4. swagalicious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys 👋 bye guys 👋 -max

**whores in this house**

**January 11, 8:58 am**

**boink**

this is my pal Steve. take it away Steve 🎤

**steverooni**

that’s theft

**boink**

ba dum dum

**Tony**

steve is the least funny member of this chat

**Uncle Sam**

i second this

**no homo**

idk clint IS here guys

**shrek**

why would you guys be saying this when Bruce exists

**boink**  
at least we can laugh at clint

**fiona**

are you saying we can’t laugh at steve? bc if that’s the case i’ve been doing this wrong

**boink**

nice input guys!

**boink**

anyway

**boink**

what’s my name in ur phone

**Tony**

boink

**steverooni**

jerk

**no homo**

America’s most wanted

**Tony**

what’s mine

**boink**

u won’t like it

**steverooni**

sir Anthony Edward III of York

**pete**

... ur funny sometimes

**fiona**

fav pornstar and uber express ticket

**boink**

my sisters all have me down as just James how did that happen

**Tony**

well tell ur sisters to cowboy up and get creative

**Tony**

also imagine being named after a president couldn’t be me. that’s why no one calls u that. ever.

**boink**

this is an act of domestic terrorism made worse by your imagine dragons obsession

**Tony**

hey that’s personal

  
  
**boink**

if I’m emotionally unavailable then why did I cry myself to sleep after dropping an eraser into a trash can and then not being able to get it back out

**brucie**

that’s the definition

**fiona**

“fuck you, my child is fine!” The child: ^^

**boink**

would an emotionally unavailable person be able to see the humor in the mule?? Hmm??? No they wouldn’t

**Tony**

btw 90y/o Clint Eastwood having a couple threesomes gave me more trauma than Howard ever could

**steverooni**

you guys saw the mule together?

**Tony**

what were we supposed to do after watching the ball drop on times square, go home? That’s lame

**no homo**

we literally had a NYE party that we invited u to

**boink**

meh

**no homo**

**January** **11, 12:32 pm**

**no homo**

so are you and barnes like,,, fucking?

**Tony**

fucky wucky bucky?

also how dare u imply I’m anything other than a virgin

**no homo**

i’m being serious

**Tony**

okay

no bucky and i are not fucking

**no homo**

do you want to be

**Tony**

not particularly ?

**no homo**

okay

cool

  
**pepper**

**January** **11, 12:54 pm**

  
**rhodes**

HES NOT INTO BUCKY LETS GOOOO

**pepper**

god you’re the only one that didn’t know that get with the program

  
**brucie**

**January** **11, 12:56 pm**

**Tony**

RHODEY JUST ASKED IF IM FUCKING BUCKY DOES THA TMEAN HE WANTS TO BE FUCKING ME??

**brucie**

i did not sign up for this disaster

**the whores in this house**

**January** **12, 4:19 am**

**steverooni**

what’s lady gaga thinking abt

**fiona**

dogs

**boink**

meat suits

**fiona**

dog meat suits

**steverooni**

i’m getting a restraining order on the grounds of dehumanization

**fiona**

how did i dehumanize u

**boink**

blaze it

**steverooni**

when you called me a DOG

**clint**

420 blaze it

**fiona**

i didn’t say that i said lady gaga was thinking abt meat suits

**Tony**

blaze it

**thunderthighs**

i think u should apologize

**boink**

lmao

**steverooni**

this isn’t a laughing matter

**Tony**

YOURE LITERALLY LAUGHING LIKE OUT LOUD RN

**steverooni**

SHUT UP

I’m not laughing I’m crying >:(

**January** **12, 7:32 am**

**Tony**

it’s not what homophobia does to you it’s what homophobia can do FOR you

**steverooni**

that’s not ??

**Tony**

source: trust me

 **January** **12, 12:56 pm**

**boink**

how are y'all awake all the time

 **January** **12, 2:24 pm**

**pete**

i just call nat nat bc idk her first name

**Uncle Sam**

is it natasha? is it natalie?

**thunderthighs**

ig we’ll never know

**boink**

it’s natalia

**pete**

we know 😌

**harley**

ITS THE NUMBER ONE CHAMPION SOUND ESTELLE WERE ABOHT TO GET DOWN

or however the song goes

**pete**

kayne??

 **January** **13, 12:12 am**

**Tony**

my confidence pre air fryer 📉 my confidence post air fryer 📈

  
**golden girls**

**January** **13, 5:15 am**

**boink**

let’s play crazy 8

**Tony**

ok

**boink**

hey king (Steve)

we’re waiting for u ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

**boink**

🔪

**Tony**

steeeeeeve

**boink**

am I a man or am I a muppet

 **Tony** ****

am i a muppet

**boink:**

cause if im a muppet, then im a very manly muppet

**Tony**

a very manly muppet

**boink**

am i a muppet or am i a man

**Tony**

am i a man

**boink**

cause if im a man im a muppet of a man

**Tony**

a muppet of a man

**boink**

here i go again

im always running out of time

i think ive made up my mind

now i understand

who i am

ok Tony I u go for muppet I go for man

I’m a MAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

**Tony**

I’m a MUPPETTTTTTTTTTTTT

**boink**

ok gn steve ur obviously asleep

**steverooni**

goodnight

**boink**

WAIT COME BACK

**Tony**

HUH

**boink**

GET BACK HERE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ri has recently given me a very moving speech regarding my actions. I’m sorry to the people who I hurt (ri) and I am now aware that Tom Holland would fall madly in love with you at first sight if not for the models he has met. I hope you get the chance to humble him. Xoxo


	5. winter is coming.. came.. gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not them making me like wandavision why is it good ??? -ri

**whores in this house**

**January 15, 2:15am**

**boink**

who let me be this secksee and cool 

**Uncle Sam**

you’re not 

**boink**

that’s why you hate me so much bc you’re jealous 

**tony**

he got you there

**Uncle Sam**

i am NOT 

**steverooni**

lol 

**Uncle Sam**

are y’all implying im not sexy and cool 

**fiona**

someone’s insecure 

**Uncle Sam**

yeah everyone in this gc 

**fiona**

idk what you’re talking abt mister 

**no homo**

i think tony is v seggc and cool 

**Tony**

me too 

**boink**

me three 

**no homo**

this was not supposed to happen did you not read your script

**shrek**

sam is sexy and cool confirmed by ME 

**Uncle Sam**

thank you, YOU have taste

**pete**

clint eats pineapple on pizza 

**Uncle Sam**

goddamnit clint why must you fail me like this 

**boink**

this means war???

**boink**

I’m gonna tell you all ur fatal flaws

**boink**

Tony ur in love w me

**Tony**

I’m not

**boink**

Steve is in love w me

**steverooni**

ok

**boink**

nat I’m in love with u

**fiona**

who isn’t

**boink**

Sam is in love w me

**boink**

Clint looks like shrek

**shrek**

we know but hey!

**boink**

Thor is in love with me

**shrek**

ok, what’s urs? 

**boink**

I have an inconceivable amount of swag

** Tony **

INCONCEIVABLE

** no homo **

you keep using that word, i do not think it means what you think it means

**steverooni**

Bucky I have to listen to ur shit ideas enough already bc I live with u 

**boink**

ur one v lucky man

**Uncle Sam**

omg they were roommates

**steverooni**

you are also our roommate 

**boink**

Rhodey is in love with the loml 

**shrek**

nat?

**boink**

no

**Tony**

omg that’s me

** January 15, 10:11am **

**Uncle Sam**

just heard a crash from the living room. steve you good? 

**boink**

i bet he fell 

**steverooni**

i didn’t

**boink**

he definitely fell 

**Uncle Sam**

oh 100% 

**steverooni**

i didn’t fall!! 

**shrek**

idk you seem defensive 

**fiona**

can confirm he did fall 

**steverooni**

did you see me ? 

**fiona**

no i just know your lying face 

**steverooni**

how can you see my face 

**fiona**

🤷‍♂️

**Uncle Sam**

i’m a little scared now 

**boink**

(i’m a little turned on)

** shuri **

**January 18, 11:09am**

**shuri**

ok but hear me out Tony

**Tony**

I’m hearing

**shuri**

if astrology isn’t real then why is Peter a Leo and The Way He Is

**Tony**

I’m a Gemini and I’m also the way he is. next question

**shuri**

ur just built diff Tony :/

** whores in this house **

** January 18, 11:17am **

**Tony**

T’Challa if ur with us today ur sister is mean :( 

**pink panther**

I thought I left this group

**pete**

i brought you back 

**pink panther**

you enjoy my suffering 

**pete**

i enjoy everyone’s suffering 

**thunderthighs**

you sound like my philosophy professor

**Tony**

isn’t ur philosophy prof ur dad

**thunderthighs**

I don’t like to talk abt it 

**pete**

yeah. rip winter break 

**Tony**

it’s back to class and wanting to die 

**shrek**

y’all didn’t wanna die over break? 

**Tony**

it’s a different Brand of wanting to die 

**boink**

yeah clint, god 

**no homo**

i’m so tired of being here already 

**fiona**

rt 

**steverooni**

anyone else in philosophy this semester 

**harley**

no 

**steverooni**

shut up freshie 

**harley**

wow rude 

**Uncle Sam**

i do :/ 

**boink**

oh great i get to watch them suffer

**fiona**

you have chem 

**boink**

FUCK 

**no homo**

did y’all have to get covid tested too

** Tony **

yeah

when i got tested for my italy trip they scraped my brain

this way was much better

**fiona**

ya

jesus tony we get it you went to italy and have a private jet

** pete **

you have a brain?

** steverooni **

i have never had my brain scraped and methinks it's a flex

my mouth has been roved tho

** Tony **

it sounds like you're describing head to someone with a small pecker

** Uncle Sam **

PLEASE YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD IN CLASS

**boink**

negative for covid. positive for swag. 

**no homo**

negative for covid, positive for hot as fuck

** no homo **

** January 18, 1:54pm **

** Tony **

hey you good?

seemed a little stressed in the chat

** no homo **

thanks for checking in i'm still a piece of garbage

but really i'm good, just signed up for too many hours this semester

**Tony**

rip okay just let me know if you need anything?

**no homo**

will do :)

_read 2:01pm_


	6. Becca's Debut

**whores in this house**

**January 25, 3:36am**

**boink**

if I quit my job and transfer my credits to a school in Oregon no one can be mad 

**steverooni**

I’m not covering ur third of the rent

**Uncle Sam**

^^

**boink**

two people can be mad

**shrek**

who needs college it’s just sleep sleep sleep and then we die

**fiona**

it could be argued that die = sleep

**shrek**

take it back

**tony**

maybe die will come sooner hopefully mayhaps 

**no homo**

wouldn’t it be nice if a semi hit me on my way to mechanics 

**january 25, 9:52am**

**tony**

her name is noelle 

**steveerooni**

NO 

**no homo**

i have a dream about her 

**boink**

she rings my bell 

**shrek**

i got gym class in half an hour 

**Uncle Sam**

oh how she rocks 

**steverooni**

N O 

**harley**

in keds and tube socks 

**fiona**

but she doesn’t know who i am 

**pete**

and she doesn’t give a damn about me 

**steverooni**

shut the fuck up 

**tony**

let me enjoy my bi anthem steven 🙄✋🏻

**January 26, 4:15pm**

**boink**

my friends all call me Bucky but people who aren’t my friend call me james

Rhodes feel free to call me James 

**no homo**

ayo no problem u can call me James too james

**boink**

cool thanks James 

**no homo**

np James 

**tony**

not this 

**Uncle Sam**

i’d feel so much better if you guys simply did not refer to me ever 

bc im embarrassed 

**boink**

Samwell, can I call u samwell? Samwell, in the professional world sacrifices have to be made. 

**Uncle Sam**

Samuel bye 

**boink**

I have seen ur signature and that’s not how u do u’s in cursive 

**January** **27, 2:01am**

**shrek**

idk what this is abt but some bitch gave me $120 in tens and then talked the entire time I was counting 

I need affirmations 

**pete**

**January 27, 8:07am**

**pete**

Tony imagine getting a lot of media attention at once. I know you wouldn’t know what that is but I DO. 

**tony**

I got 150k on a TikTok once 

**pete**

ok???

**tony**

I’m what they call a one hit wonder 

**pete**

if u were a one hit wonder u would be following charli 

**women in stem**

**Janaury 27, 9:46am**

**carol**

it’s so funny that most of the shit i was taught as “fact” in science classes were just theories 

tectonic plates ? theory. pangea ? theory. earths core ? theory! 

**val**

this is why i could never be a stem major

**shuri**

Finite amount of universes? Theory 

**mj**

at this point, my existence? theory

**whores in this house**

**January 28, 4:20am**

  
**boink**

if my birthday is March 10, what are UR birthdays

blaze

**steverooni**

you know mine

**boink**

no way it’s actually July 4

**steverooni**

yes way

**boink**

stop lying Steve

**fiona**

I don’t have a bday

**boink**

what

**tony**

u don’t know our bdays?

**boink**

peters is in august and urs is in may

**tony**

so that’s all?

**boink**

Thor’s is January 12th happy late birthday bro

**thunder thighs**

dont text me

**harley**

thor’s a capricorn?? that explains a lot

**pink panther**

you talk to shuri too much

**harley**

i’ve never met shuri

**pete**

omg you should!

**pink panther**

NO

**tony**

no

**fiona**

YES

**boink**

it’d be entertaining at least

**pete**

i think you mean downright awesome

**steverooni**

i think we should add becca to the chat

**boink**

this is why we aren’t friends

**steverooni**

that’s it im adding her

**boink**

wait no steve!! pls

**steverooni added beckster**

**beckster**

hey mamas

**shrek**

now THAT is an entrance

**beckster**

it’s been like this since the day I was born

**boink**

we*****

**beckster**

get ur own birthday

**no homo**

was anyone gonna tell me that Bucky is a twin or was I just supposed to learn that from an ongoing communism joke

**shrek**

this explains so much

**pete**

when is his bday again maybe he’s a gemini

**tony**

he JUST sent it to us

**pete**

it’s not my fault you all never shut the fuck up

**boink**

I’m a PISCES never imply that tony and I have the same zodiac

**beckster**

ur acting like a Gemini

**boink**

it’s my moon sign Becca I can’t help it


	7. M&M stands for MILF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi babes enjoy ??? sorry it’s late i edited it last night and then forgot abt it -ri
> 
> title by max, i take no responsibility for it lmaoo xo

**whores in this house**

**January 30, 5:10pm**

**fiona**

i need an air fryer

**shrek**

you don’t really NEED that tho. U know what u do need? The same amount of forks and spoons. You know what we don’t have nat??

**fiona**

what

**shrek**

take a wild fucken guess

**fiona**

the same amount of forks and spoons? 

**shrek**

ding ding ding 

**boink**

i don’t see how this is a problem

**shrek**

you’re not mentally stable, you wouldn’t 

**Uncle Sam**

and you are?

**January 31, 2:39am**

**harley**

why is tchalla’s name “pink panther” in tony’s phone 

**pink panther**

if anyone answers they’ll never find the body

**Tony**

well you see,,,

**pink panther**

anthony edward

**Tony**

it’s an inside joke

**pete**

didn’t he have a pink panther phase in middle school

**pink panther**

my father will be hearing about this

**Tony**

more pressing question. why does harley know what tchallas name is in my phone

**harley**

hacked it

**shrek**

HAHHAHAHS WHAT THE FUCK IS A PINK PANTHER PHASE

**thunder thighs**

same vibe as Loki’s ‘I am god’ phase 

**fiona**

it’s not a phase if it’s still happening 

**pete**

don’t we all have an “i am god” phase tho 

**harley**

...no? 

**boink**

Loki bless America where at least I know there’s cheese 

**Tony**

in wisconsin, yep

**pete**

and I won’t forget the men who died and gave that right to me yep yep

**no homo**

things ik abt us geography:   
mormons in utah  
cheese in wisconsin  
corn in iowa ???   
potatoes in idaho 

**steverooni**

and I gladly stand up ⬆️ but not too fast 

**Uncle Sam**

(he’s anemic)

**Tony**

I miss Loki. Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

**thunder thighs**

u are at our house 

**boink**

babe?????? It’s fuckin?????? D&D night???????? At MY basement?? 

**no homo**

is every night D&D night

**boink**

YES

**Tony**

yes

**pete**

yes

**steverooni**

unfortunately 

**Uncle Sam**

idk it’s kinda fun

**steverooni**

traitor 

**shrek**

I get off work at 6 I’m inviting myself over 

**boink**

here?

**shrek**

yes I’m bringing queso 

**Uncle Sam**

shit no need to invite urself over bc I’m inviting u now

**shrek**

nvm u just killed the fun of it

**boink**

vibe killer 

**fiona**

Clint if ur gone then who’s gonna count the forks and spoons 

**shrek**

I do not do that 

**fiona**

previous convos would imply that u do 

**brucey bear**

what’s going on

**thunder thighs**

i’ve learned it’s best to ignore them when they’re like this 

**brucey bear**

so true bye again guys 

**boink**

bye love u

**January 31, 11:38am**

**boink**

truth be told I miss u 

**Uncle Sam**

aw-

**boink**

truth be told I’m lyin 🤪

**Uncle Sam**

don’t come back, steve’s moved into your room 

**boink**

I’ll just move into my rich boyfriends house

**Tony**

the dowry is set at 24 goats

**boink**

my soul calls out to you babe I’m the only goat I have to offer

**no homo**

that has to be the worst thing I’ve ever read 

also where did James go?

**boink**

my sister lives in Connecticut 

**no homo**

i think i’m gonna puke 

**boink**

ikr who moves to Connecticut 

**no homo**

that’s not why 

**beckster**

Alice apparently

**boink**

what a loser 

**no homo**

who was gonna tell me there were more of them

**boink**

other sister lives in Indianapolis, granted she’s like 5 

**beckster**

she’s 12 

**boink**

oh fr? 

**January 31, 5:09pm**

**beckster**

who made raisins a thing 

**boink**

you shut your whore mouth 

**beckster**

I am GRAYACE 😡😡

**boink**

it’s an expression of passion Becca get learnt 😡

**fiona**

it’s like Tony and Peter but more chaotic 

**pete**

um rude

**thunder thighs**

I forget nat doesn’t have siblings 

**beckster**

who the hell are you

**thunder thighs**

an illusion I’m not even here

**pete**

you can’t fool me, I’ve played enough iMessenger games with Loki to know his phrases!

**Tony**

nobody is more chaotic than me 

**fiona**

then howd ik you’d say that 

**Tony**

you’re lying

**pete**

you’re a lying liar who lies 

**fiona**

shut up 

**pete**

jokes on u we have no self preservation instincts and will do no such thing 

**shrek**

idk i think they win

**boink**

this isn’t a competition 

**Tony**

that’s what losers say

**Tony**

let’s compare sibling trauma. Peter was born. 

**boink**

Becca tried to eat my foot in the womb

**beckster**

I DID NOT

**thunder thighs**

Loki pulled a knife on me once

**Tony**

oh 

**shrek**

barney made me self conscious about half my features xo

**pink panther**

shuri kicks me every morning to “remind me of my place” 

**pete**

i thought u left again 

**pink panther**

so did i

**fiona**

I might not have siblings but the barnes’ youngest sister told me I look like the brown M&M 

**boink**

I can never look u in the eye again thanks 

**beckster**

it’s the glasses, she calls Bucky red M&M

**Tony**

who is green

**beckster**

do i look like your professor 

**Tony**

a little bit, yeah

it’s the glasses 

**mr buzzkill, ms buzzkill, pete, Tony**

**January 31, 10:22pm**

**pete**

I don’t know about you but I’m feeling twenty, too 

**Tony**

stfu ur bday is in 6 months

**pete**

in spirit it’s every day 

**mr buzzkill**

Maybe if you got off your damn phones you’d know what month it is 

**Tony**

hey dad good to hear from you, hope you’re not expecting to go to a nice retirement home in 3 years 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me and max made a frog cake and it was a r t


	8. Family Drama is Quirky

**whores in this house**

**February 7, 9:52am**

**boink**

sometimes I wish I was unalivent

**beckster**

were**

**boink**

god ur such a fucking asshole

**beckster**

ᵁᴿ ˢᵁᶜᴴ ᴬ ᶠᵁᶜᴷᴵᴺᴳ ᴬˢˢᴴᴼᴸᴱ

**boink**

Becca 😡😡😡😡😡😡

**no homo**

that was so satisfying

**steverooni**

r u ok

**boink**

I gotta stay alive so Becca doesn’t inherit my wii 😡

**beckster**

if anything happens I want y’all to play drivers license at my funeral just so I can piss Bucky off one last time

**boink**

ur Leo moon is showing

**beckster**

arent u a Pisces?

**uncle sam**

y’all are TWINS u have the same damn zodiac smh

**shrek**

I’m not reading all of that but has anyone seen my crocs

**thunder thighs**

oh. I burnt them

**fiona**

good riddance

**tony**

how do u lose crocs

**fiona**

a very dedicated roommate and her bestie

**shrek**

THOR BURNT THEM???????

**thunder thighs**

yes I did

**shrek**

NO

**thunder thighs**

I feel like ur not even reading my texts

**fiona**

next time don’t go complaining to abt the amount of silverware we have

**steverooni**

I won’t stand for this injustice #crocbrothersunite

**boink**

not the hashtag 😭

**pink panther**

I can’t do this today

**uncle sam**

yeah maybe then you’d have ur crocs

**brucey bear**

there’s a new crocs store on 34th

**shrek**

I’d rather die than make my way to 34th

**uncle sam**

**February 9, 2:28am**

**tony**

1\. is it an object

**uncle sam**

no

**tony**

2\. A person

**uncle sam**

no

**tony**

so it’s me?

**uncle sam**

I just said it’s not an object

**tony**

fair

3\. a concept?

  
**uncle sam  
**no

**tony**

ah. 4. A place

**uncle sam**

no

**tony**

is it... 5. secsy

**uncle sam**

no

do u want a hint

**tony**

sure

**uncle sam**

it’s a Thing that one does

**tony**

u jusy said it wasn’t sexy

6\. a mannerism?

**uncle sam**

no

**tony**

is it thinking thoughts?

**uncle sam**

u don’t even know how to do that

**tony**

ok go off ig

I need another hint

**uncle sam**

there’s a designated place where you do the thing

**tony**

I’ve cracked the case! It’s 7. crying

**uncle sam**

no but sometimes you cry while you’re doing it

**tony**

aha! It’s either 8. eating or 9. Queefing

**uncle sam**

no and no kfjjfjfjfn

it’s like a necessity

**tony**

I’m once again pushing 10. Eating

**uncle sam**

NO

u do other things Tony

**tony**

the only other things I do are shit sleep and breathe

OMG IS IT SHITTING??

do u cry when u shit???

actually I don’t want to know this isn’t Call Me By Your Name

**uncle sam**

EW

no but it’s one of those

**tony**

aha! 11. Breathing

**uncle sam**

ITS SLEEPINH

**tony**

that was NOT 20 questions

**uncle sam**

take it more seriously next time and you’ll get ur full 20 >:(  
  


**whores in this house**

**February 11, 10:59pm**

**boiink**

when he says his bf doesn’t like when u call him ur honey boo boo ✋✋✋👊👊✋👊👊 that’s some bullshit

**steverooni**

bucky. why.

**boink**

i aim to piss off

**pete**

i think the phrase is “i aim to please”

**bonik**

for you, maybe

**tony**

maybe it’s time i destroy my worst creation: this group chat

**fiona**

don’t you dare

**boink**

you sound like my dad talking about Becca

**beckster**

hey that’s my trauma!

**tony**

so NOW we can talk about daddy issues?

**uncle sam**

if we can’t all have them then we don’t talk about them

**shrek**

i thought we all did

**harley**

say i if you have parental issues

i

**pete**

we’d be here a while how about we don’t

**tony**

I

**no homo**

not the capital i 😭

**tony**

it needs to be known

**fiona**

not any that aren’t normal

**tony**

ur step dad is a high ranking cia officer there’s no damn way u don’t have daddy issues

**fiona**

u don’t get to dictate my trauma even if ur right

**boink**

my parents love me

**beckster**

what’s that like? Having George barnes love you?

**boink**

Steve what’s it like being George Barnes’s favorite kid?

**steverooni**

hey you can’t use that against me my dad is dead

**uncle sam**

Bucky what’s it like being Sarah Rogers favorite son?

**steverooni**

^^

**boink**

bye ✋

**no homo**

Sam 🤝 me not having parental trauma

**nat**

i’m feeling decidedly left out ??

**thunder thighs**

daddy issues are very 2019. now it’s all about milfs.

**boink**

HAHAHHA he’s right

**women in stem**

**February 11, 11:43pm**

**nat**

ladies what do we think about milfs

**shuri**

I’m a feminist but..

**mj**

it’s disgustingly objectifying

**carol**

what’s a milf

**nat**

thanks ladies

**whores in this house**

**February 11, 11:57pm**

**fiona**

hey only I can talk about milfs

also tony has anyone ever told you your mom’s a milf

**tony**

no they mostly tell me i should be grateful she married rich <3

**pete**

on today’s list of turns i did not expect to take


	9. this is awkward 👉👈

hey guys it’s max just wanted 2 let y’all know that ri and I were hit HARD by that snow storm and are unable to put out a full chapter this week 😂😅 thanks 4 understanding byeeee 


	10. South for the Winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idc if ur only supposed to take essentials w u when ur on the run u can pry my uni acceptance letters from my cold dead bbody -max

**whores in this house**

**February 17, 9:56am**

**pete **

I’ve never been to Texas and every day I thank god for that

** thunder thighs **

Loki says ur welcome

**pete**

tell Loki that this is an invasion of privacy 

**shrek**

peter i’ll decapitate u 

**pete**

you can’t im your favorite here 

**shrek**

harley replaced you 

**pete**

WHEN 

**shrek**

when he didn’t actively plot against me 

**harley**

sorry not sorry babe 

**boink**

francis i thought i was your favorite ?? 

**shrek**

you don’t even rank top 7 

**boink**

that still means I rank above quill lets gooo

** February 17, 4:23pm **

**harley**

should one of u have warned me not to use the on campus washing machines

i almost flooded the laundry room

**shrek**

idk that never happened to me 

**no homo**

just a you problem kid

**harley**

i’m feeling attacked 

**shrek**

you def should 

**fiona**

Clint u don’t even use the campus washing machines shut up 

**pete**

he doesn’t know how to do laundry 

**harley**

I do!! You put the soap in with the clothes and it washes them! 

**brucie bear**

:/ who’s gonna tell him 

**boink**

bruce you’re back !

**brucie bear**

no im not bye 

** February 19, 12:57pm **

**shrek**

u haven't really joined the workforce until u have cried in the deep freeze 

**boink**

I slept with my boss

**shrek**

HAHAHA WHAT

** pete **

go bestie

**beckster**

never ever imply that u have had sex ever again 

**steverooni**

i hate going in the freezer 😭✋🏻 I cant believe you go in there to cry

**uncle sam**

I'm a secretary. That's it 

**shrek**

so u cry at ur desk? damn that's so swag 

**pete**

me in class 

**February 20, 3:23am**

**shrek**

I regret coming home for the holidays how am I supposed to shit in the dark

“rolling blackouts” my ASS this many hours w/o power is shit

**boink**

Clint we have 2 feet of snow here

**shrek**

do u have snow plows?? How about electricity?? winter clothes? road salt? SAND? tire chains? next questions 

**tony**

we also have god 

**thunder thighs**

Loki is visiting our parents 

**tony**

FUCK GOD LEFT 

**pete**

Clint being from Texas just don’t sit right w me he looks like he’s from Wisconsin

**boink**

just realized I don’t get snow days when it snows  😔✋ don’t hmu

**shrek**

bro that’s not very swag of u :(

**boink**

aww is the Texan sad

**shrek**

yes 

**boink**

just tell ur home state to invest in salt trucks next time  ❤️

**fiona**

James the entire state of Texas cannot afford the maintenance for that when theyre never going to use it

**boink**

but y’all want to be ur own country again  🙄✋ ok

**pete**

didnt u and Tony create a religion in high school 

**tony**

LEAVE CHEESUS OUT OF THIS

**shrek**

no but it's so cold outside rn im inside and I have chills 

** uncle sam **

🎶 they're multiplying  🎶

**shrek**

omg 

**shrek**

and I'm looosing control

**uncle sam**

cuz the power ur supplying 

**shrek**

what power? i don’t have power. texas isn’t supply any power. 

** uncle sam **

it's electrifying 

** shrek**

🎶 you better shape up

** uncle sam**

🎶 cuz I need a man and my heart is set on you

**shrek**

you better shape up you better understand 

**uncle sam**

that to my heart I must be true

**shrek**

nothing left , nothing left for me to do

**uncle sam**

you're the one that I want

**shrek**

(you are the one I want)

**uncle sam**

you you you honey

**boink**

idc what time of day it is it's always too early to be quoting Grease

**thunder thighs**

Is that what that's from?

**steverooni**

oh my god

**tony**

tell me u were lame in high school without telling me u were lame in high school 

** February 23, 8:58am **

**steverooni**

I have something important to tell u guys

**tony**

ok u can trust us except Nat

**fiona**

haha go to hell

**steverooni**

I have glass bones and paper skin

**beckster**

not this  ✋ bye

** February 24, 10:22am **

**boink**

party at my place tonight. only bitches with DL’s allowed. 

**pete**

actually, James, I got my drivers license last week

**boink**

just like we always talked about?

**pete**

fuck you. 

**steverooni**

Bucky the world doesn’t need to know that you are single handedly paying all of Olivia’s bills

** February 25, 6:23am **

**shrek**

Bucky and I Skyped while shopping online. Bought Baby’s First bath & body works candle. 

**fiona**

aww maybe the bathroom won’t smell like feet anymore

**shrek**

that’s a team effort smell

**fiona**

hey :/

**tony**

u and Bucky did what

**boink**

babe it’s not what it looks like

**tony**

I won’t hesitate 

**no homo**

is this a joke?? are we still joking??? haha 

**boink**

james bestie nothing abt our love triangle is a joke <3

** Fiona **

** February 26, 12:23am **

**tony**

i was so sure Rhodey liked me back and then Bucky started flirting with him too while we were at the mall today and now I’m not so sure

**f** **iona**

babe name one person Bucky hasn’t flirted with

**tony**

you?

**fiona**

I’m out of his league and he knows it

but this isn’t abt me

it isn’t even about them 

you gotta focus on u rn. these are ur golden years. Wench baddies before founding daddies 

**tony**

wench baddies before founding daddies

but Pete thinks Bucky is hinting at a 3some but that’d be weird with two James’s

**fiona**

THAT’s ur only hang up on that,????


	11. march again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🎶 who’s been messing up everything, it’s been agatha all along 🎶
> 
> lol hi it’s been a minute -ri

**pete**

**February 27, 1:29pm**

**Tony**

march again in two days 

**pete**

ok

**whores in this house**

**February 27, 2:44pm**

**fiona**

who left their fucking socks on my bathroom counter 

I know it wasn’t Clint because he actually follows the house rules 

**pete**

sorry

**fiona**

Pete >:(

**boink**

Pete (derogatory)

**pink panther**

Bucky I can’t find my keys to ur place

**boink**

idk ask Shuri

**steverooni**

T’Challa has keys to the party basement?

**boink**

uh yeah he’s my bestie’s brother???

**steverooni**

who else has keys

**fiona**

I do

**shrek**

I as well also

**brucie**

ditto

**boink**

omg Bruce!!!!!!

**thunder thighs**

me

**Tony**

did I just get left out? fr??

**uncle sam**

y’all got keys? I just leave a window unlocked 

**boink**

it’s a basement we don’t have windows

**uncle sam**

I know

**steverooni**

do I have an inhaler at ur place Tony I forgot mine

**tony**

ya there should be one in the kitchen

**steverooni**

did I ask

**Tony**

what 

**February 28, 11:22am**

**tony**

who wants starbies

**harley**

who wants what

**boink**

me 

**no homo**

me 

**steverooni**

i’ll go but we’re getting lunch after 

**tony**

do u have to ruin everything with boring basic needs 

**steverooni**

yes actually 

**pete**

are you going to the one on campus 

**tony**

yeah just got out of class 

**pete**

i will be there 

**harley**

i’m... confused

**shrek**

aren’t we all 

**February 28, 7:43pm**

**uncle sam**

I don’t believe in god but sometimes Bucky makes me want to pray 

**steverooni**

I do believe in god but sometimes Bucky makes me reach out to the Olympian’s 

**boink**

we get it I can’t cook

**beckster**

y’all let him cook???

**uncle sam**

he said he knew how to make asparagus 

**boink**

I said in THEORY 

**tony**

it’s okay i can’t cook either

**no homo**

which is why you two shouldn’t date bc if you did then how would you eat? you wouldn’t exactly so you both need to find people who can cook like me yepyep

**boink**

omg james are you hitting on me 

**no homo**

u got the right idea but the wrong bitch

**beckster**

bucky if you don’t stop assuming everyone is flirting with you i will tell sarah rogers that you’re the one who broke her vintage vase

**steverooni**

oooh think you’ll still be her favorite son after that

**boink**

idk probably not like i have much competition

anyway you know who can cook? Steve. tony I think you and Steve would hit it off

**steverooni**

sorry no

**boink**

boo you whore

**fiona**

god works hard but Bucky Barnes works harder

**boink**

oh ik! bruce can cook

**brucie**

im not even here 

**boink**

:/

**beckster**

try hard

**boink**

i prefer the term pick me 

**March 1, 12:03am**

**thunder thighs**

do you think i could launch myself into space if i try hard enough 

**tony**

with those muscles? yeah 100%

**brucie**

me first 😭

**nat**

if we’re launching ourselves into space i’m coming with and so are the rest of the girls 

**March 1, 7:00am**

**nat**

I’m a woman. I’m gay. That makes me a faguette???

**uncle sam**

lampoon

**no homo**

ah lampoon 😌

**uncle sam**

lmaooo**  
  


**no homo**

**8:35am**

**tony**

where were you earlier this morning i didn’t see you before class

**no homo**

went to the gym 

**tony**

you hate the gym ??

**no homo**

no i don’t 

**tony**

yeah you do you said so last week 

**no homo**

maybe so

i just wanna add a little muscle

**tony**

i think you look great already

_read 9:01am_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk maybe a funny endnote we’ll see


End file.
